Let's Talk

Four months ago, I was invited to a seminar hosted by the Ministry of Local Government to discuss values that would lead to Rwanda's development. The list included 5 habits to avoid and 6 values to emulate. From this list, CCR leadership has crafted our teaching series on Faith Based Entrepreneurs who Build Institutions of Community. This week, I've come to possibly the most difficult habit to avoid, Fear of Conflict - Artificial Harmony.

When ever I read or hear the word conflict, I find myself becoming afraid. In fact, I don't sleep well at night. Sometimes my stomach is in knots, my face becomes red, and I have a difficult time concentrating and creating. My emotions can spin out of control. Some of us may even struggle with such a high level of stress about conflict that we find ourselves dealing with what professionals call Post Traumatic Stress.

If I had my choice this Sunday I would preach on a much easier topic than conflict.

However, I also have dear friends with whom I don't share all the same beliefs and values. In fact, when I describe my interactions with these friends I use words such as debate and discussion to express how the interaction takes place. I've found their friendship makes me a better person.

I also have friends who have disappointed me and we've needed to go back to discover what went wrong. Other wise we live in a shadowy world of half truths and misunderstandings. This world of relationship shadows is so murky that it can create an artificial sense of harmony that will unexpectedly explode.

Jesus of Nazareth knew this would be our life. If we live in community we will have misunderstandings and disagreements. It is inescapable. We must talk to one another and find ways to heal and move forward. The only way not to have disagreements is to have no legitimate community.

Also, because we are human we also will act in ways that are selfish and destructive to others. In those situations we must come clean and take responsibility.

This Sunday, we'll look at Jesus' words in Matthew 18:15-35 and find that we must talk. I know that this Sunday will be an uncomfortable discussion for us. However, I also believe it will be one that we desperately need. I hope to see you this Sunday.

Imana ikurinde,

Dave