You Are Not In Charge of Me

Several weeks ago in our fair city of Kigali a man was pondering the relationship between freedom and responsibility. We all hunger to be free. Tyranny and dictatorships are despised. In fact the words of equality and freedom are the buzz words we use each time we feel our right to individual autonomy is threatened. Yet in our call to freedom some truths are inescapable. We live in a community. Some have gone before us to set precedent. Our actions do affect others and it is just to consider the rights of others as we ponder our own God given rights.

As our Kigali philosopher pondered two of his sons began a discussion about the same matter. The youngest son of our Kigali philosopher chose to exercise his rights to freedom. The oldest son of our Kigali philosopher chose to exercise his authority. The discussion continued for some time, but came to a final conclusion upon the family’s dining table.

The five year old son chose to show his physical strength and climbed upon the family dining table. From such a position he could look eye to eye with this tyrannical thirteen year old elder brother. The elder brother proclaimed that it was not proper to stand on the dining room table. The younger son proclaimed it was not proper for the older son to tell him what to do. In his cry for ultimate freedom our young revolutionary proclaimed, “You are not in charge of me.”

A revolution almost birthed. Five year old boys through out Kigali heard the rumor. Media outlets were prepared to announce the revolution. Our young revolutionary began stomping his feet in rhythm. It was like a drum beating. The music was inescapable and his cry for freedom passionate. Would five year old boys be permitted to stand on their family tables and dance and argue with no accountability? Yet the older brother held firm. “Get down from the table,” he proclaimed.

At this crucial moment in the almost revolution our Kigali philosopher awakened from his cluttered mind. He heard the noise of the household revolution and came to see what was about to transpire. A final show down occurred. Our Kigali philosopher looked eye to eye with young revolutionary and proclaimed, “When my oldest son seeks to protect my property he speaks with my authority. Get down from the table or I will severely cane you.” The young revolutionary conceded his defeat and scurried back to the floor. The look in his eyes however confirmed that the revolution was not finished in this defeat. The five year old revolutionary would arise again. Another battle was coming. The next one would be well chosen and decisive for he believed to his core being that his older brother truly was not in charge of him.

Sound familiar? Is there a revolutionary lurking in your household? Do you hear this familiar chorus? Could a conspiracy be a foot among us? Or worse yet, is the conspiracy lurking in your place of work? Do you live in a world of chaos where it seems you are the only one willing to take responsibility? Are you weary of the demands of others? Do you hunger for more order and authority in a hope that it will create a better world?

Or do you come down on the other spectrum of the dichotomy between freedom and responsibility? Have you been exploited by those who should nurture and guide? Have you been forced into actions you did not understand or own? Are you weary and tired of the same failed patterns of leadership? Are you eager to try your own hand at leading others in the hope that you will not repeat the mistakes of the past?

Our philosopher’s children are a reflection of our own spirits. The reason we giggle at their behavior is that we see ourselves in them. All they do is strip away the sophistication of our arguments and expose our true selves.

Our naked ambition is mixed with many conflicting desires. One on hand we hunger for the intimacy and order of community. On another hand we hunger for the freedom to make our own way. For some within us is an inescapable urge to lead. Some of leadership quest is about the inescapable needs of our community, but some of the quest is just a desire for power, recognition, and affluence. We come to the table with a mixture of motives and desires. How do we find our way forward?

Allow me to turn back to the disagreement of our two young men. The disagreement started because they lived in the most basic building block of community. They were a family. As brothers they tussle back and forth. Some is good natured play that strengthens body, mind, and spirit. However, some is downright selfish ambition. Yet in the end they are brothers and must find a way forward. They must put aside their own agendas and seek the good of the community.

Authority is a mixed blessing in community. Without it community can not function. Some one must chart a vision and call others to it. Without the role of a vision carrier our community is doomed to cycles of poverty of mind and pocketbook. This leader also in moments when human frailty masks itself in power must call the offender to accountability. Without his voice and action calling for accountability our human nature will embark on a path of destruction. The revolutionaries in our midst will simply stomp the table to pieces.

Our freedom is not about standing on tables and stomping slogans. Our freedom is about the choice to lead our community to a new way of thinking and living.

Today’s message is not so much about leadership as it is following. Out of authentic following we learn the discipline of authentic leading.

Can you hear the rhythm?

Come run with me.