Brotherhood is Built on Competition

by Caleb Jenkins

Once upon a time in a random city in America there was a man called Bob. He had a wife named Sally Sue. They had two twin boys named Billy and Joe. Billy was older than Joe. When they were children they always competed for every thing. As babies they fought over their bottle. They fought over everything you could think of. Where to sleep, chairs, place at the diner table, who was hot, who was not, who was more athletic are just a few things they fought over. When the parents were confronted about it they answered, “Brotherhood is built on competition.”

All this time they were fighting over little things until they met Sue Sally. Billy and Joe were at a party when they saw Sue Sally. They both nearly fainted at the sight of her. Billy walked over and said, “Do you have a band aid, because I just fell for you.” A smile appeared on her face, Billy thought it was because she likes him but actually she was trying to hold in the laughter. Joe came and said “Is it hot in her or is it just me.” With this she just couldn’t hold it in any longer. She busted out into laughter.

Billy and Joe saw Sue Sally at another party. Billy walked up to here and said, “Sorry for my loser brother last party. So, do you want to go out with me?”

“Um, well I don’t know,” said Sue Sally, “By the way your fly is open.”

Billy zipped up his fly and walked away embarrassed. Joe walked over to Sue Sally and with some smooth talking got her to go out on a date with him.

Billy was totally ticked off. After Joe’s date he went to confront Joe. “Why did you go and take my girlfriend.”

“She is not your girlfriend. Besides she has already dumped me,” Joe replied.

“We are going to settle this, tomorrow bring your car and we’ll settle this.”

“We don’t have cars.”

“Well we will have to buy them.” The next day they bought cars. They also had them all souped up. They met at highway 123 and got ready to begin the race. After hurling a round of insults at each other someone dropped the flag to begin the race. They were off. Joe’s car had better acceleration so it took a big gain in the beginning. Soon Billy’s car catches up due to its high top speed. Because Billy is a bad driver he must slow down a lot to make a turn. He can’t regain the speed that fast so Joe gets massive gains on turns. When they get to straight places Billy reaches his top speed and gets a massive gain on flat, straight stretches.

On the last leg Joe is far ahead of Billy. Billy reaches his top speed and is about ready to pass Joe. There is less than one hundred meters left. They crash into each other and because of their neon under glow they create a massive explosion. Lets just say Billy and Joe are no longer with us.

The lesson to be learned here is that anything involving two average young American men, souped up cars, and a pretty girl never turns out ok. The smaller lesson that some may say is more important is that brotherhood is built on friendly competition.