Family Matters

Do you ever have one of those weeks where you go ah ha? Now I get it. Some how the memories and commitments of the past all come together and you see God’s hand. It’s that strange place of mystery and discovery. Other’s wisdom from the past and present makes us wiser, but the journey is still continuing. The past can’t be repeated in a copy cat event ever, but we must remember what God has done and honor the heritage which brought us to our discovery today.

For those of you that quickly scan these e-mail bulletins, let me tell the news before I review the memories and discovery. We’ve had 4 baptisms at Christ’s Church in Rwanda (CCR) this past week. Two have particularly gotten my attention. One is Alexis Hixson, the daughter of our co-workers, Bryan and Holly Hixson. The other is Nathalie, the Fiancé of my friend in the Rwandan Ministry of Local Government, Joseph Rurangwa. Besides these thrilling events, we also spent a portion of last week in the mundane and in the end it felt like a major waste of time, but hopefully we are wiser. Bryan and I spent several days last week preparing for a big auction of old furnishings at the U.S. Embassy only to discover that even used items in an auction in Rwanda will sell for three times their new value in the U.S. You may not see all the connections so let me tell some stories about why family matters.

As CCR celebrated our One Year Anniversary we reflected on our Contract with Rwanda that was signed on 4 March 2007, by Rwanda Minister of Local Government Protais Musoni. In it CCR covenanted with the people of Rwanda. Several of our pledges are:

• “The sounds coming from our facility will be the reasonable sounds of Christian joy, the teaching of God’s word, the laughter of playing children, and thoughtful dialogue and debate as our community seeks to find solutions forward.”

• “We believe that the first institution of leadership in our community is the family. Therefore our leadership will be made up of those who have succeeded as spouses and parents.”

The Lord asked our family to be the initiators of CCR. Its not surprising since church planting is in our blood. Jana’s parents were church planters in Kenya and Uganda. My parents were part of start up churches in the U.S. Also, I can’t count the number of times I heard my dad’s soap box about family matters and always comes before other earthly priorities.

The cliché of God first, family second, and ministry are easy to recite. However, life does not make it easy to live. Most men who love their families wake up each day and go to work to provide when to be honest they would rather throw a baseball with their son. Our commitments some times require actions of duty and foresight. Yet, it’s out of these convictions and moments of ambiguity that God speaks the clearest. Much of what we do in Rwanda is nothing more than honoring our heritage and empowering the generations who follow us to succeed (for instance the start of KICS was an attempt to meet our own children’s education need, but quickly grew to a leading institution to make international investment in Rwanda a possibility.)

Let me tell a few stories. During my childhood I remember that once when a church our family was helping plant had a need for Bible class furnishings a local school closed for consolidation. In the process, all their furnishings were auctioned. I don’t remember going to the auction, but I do remember spending a day picking all we purchased up and off loading it at our new church facility. Last week, when I heard the news that the U.S. Embassy in Kigali was auctioning their old furnishings my memory bank started churning. Bryan, Moses Mbabaali, and I spent a good portion of several days looking at nearly 500 items, categorizing, estimating value, praying, and dreaming. The starting prices were so low we thought maybe, just maybe; we had found the God send to furnish the wonderful new facility God had provided for us. Though I’m now in my 40’s, I found myself reasoning like a little boy eager to write my parents after our purchases and tell them how well we had done and thank them for the heritage and wisdom they gave us. Then the day of the auction came. We eagerly waited with hundreds of others. The bidding started, and kept going up, and up. Finally, many items would sell for three times their U.S. new value. We seemed to be wasting our time. The runner in me thought, “O.k. Let’s let the greedy and ambitious have their time. We’ll just keep our pace. They’ll run out of cash and enthusiasm, and we’ll get a steal later in the day.” We left to let the crowd be a crowd, and kept coming back through out the day waiting for the money to be spent. It never happened. Everything we wanted sold for outrageous prices. All we came away with was another example of why Kigali is so expensive to live and work. We had no stories to write home about, just that we were a little wiser.

Some people believe that I have an exceptional gift to navigate African government offices. It does seem that I know lots of influential people in several countries in the region. Also, it seems that I have been able to accomplish some tasks that others from my culture find a struggle. First, if I have such a gift I have to conclude it’s a gift of God’s Holy Spirit, and it’s not my place to take credit. Second, if it is a skill it is because I followed Jana’s dad, Gaston Tarbet for several years in Uganda and learned how to navigate well. It’s not horribly complex – Be someone’s friend first. Let agendas die. Listen to other’s concerns and vision. Mold your hopes into what meets other’s needs. Pray with and for people. Present yourself in a professional way. Dress well. Have business cards. Write clearly. Always teach and point to Jesus.

In our first year in Rwanda, I met a man in the Ministry of Local Government named Joseph Rurangwa. He’s a gem of a friend. He’s one of the few men I know who has both a brilliant mind and a compassionate heart. (Many of us seem to vacillate between intellect and emotion and never master and use both for God’s glory.) I’ve always enjoyed his friendship and feel like his helpful introductions and advice have brought far more good to my hopes than I can return to him. Joseph is in the process of getting married and I feel extremely honored that I’ve been asked to help in the process. I’ve gone with a wise community leader, Eugene Barikana, the Secretary General in the Ministry of Local Government to meet Joseph’s future in-laws and begin wedding arrangements. Jana and I are doing some pre-marital counsel for Joseph and Nathalie. Weddings are one of my favorite ministry activities and I treasure any opportunity when I am asked to help. Through all of this process we had a discussion with Nathalie about faith, and this past Sunday she was baptized with 2 other people.

The following Monday, I received a note that Alexis Hixson was going to be baptized at CCR. We were thrilled. Alexis invited her closest friends. It was an eclectic bunch – Rwandans, Ugandans, Americans, school teachers, principal, night guards, a preacher, a youth minister, the wife of a leading Rwandan government official, a university student, a young man beginning his first professional job, an entrepreneur, the wife of a banker, poor, middle class, and wealthy, young children, teenagers, and adults; mom, dad, sister; and they all considered Alexis their friend. I can’t imagine any 8 year old in America with such diverse friendships united on faith. (Photo of the witnesses of Alexis’ baptism and our family are attached.)

As we had a week to ponder our own heritage, I could not help but ponder what Alexis’ future would be with such a bunch surrounding her. What would God choose to do when this little girl becomes a brilliant woman with social skills that can easily move between races, diverse ethnicities, economic stature, and education background?

Some of you may think we make many sacrifices to be in Rwanda. It is true there is much we miss. However, we also experience many items that we could never replicate any where else in the world. We are the ones who are blessed more so than we could possibly bless others.

My dad’s words are true. Family matters. As we honor our heritage and discover afresh God continues to do something new. Jana’s dad, Gaston Tarbet always prayed that we would go beyond what he had learned and discovered. I can’t imagine we have, but we trust that our children will.

We wish the same blessing to all of you.

Imana ikurinde (May God Keep All of You),

Dave